I hear you. Loud and clear. I'm not stupid...maybe if you actually took the time to get to know me, you would see that. And it's not just book smarts. I am not naive. I think I've taken enough of a beating to harden my heart and erase any optimism. I didn't expect anything from you.

I'm inspired to change my life for the worse. I am going to avoid confrontation and retreat into my studies. I'm going to succeed...no one can take this away from me. When it comes down to it, you have to look out for number one. Leaving options open is very exhausting. So goodbye...I'm not too sure where you can find me.

Currently Reading The Rule of Four By Ian Caldwell, Dustin Thomason see related

I'm glad to announce that it is my last day of work today. I'm trying to be productive for once in my life, so this Xanga might be short. Depends on how I feel. This rich text thing that they have is so much more convenient. Anyhow, so I have a dentist appointment to go to [yikes] and then Caroline's debut to go to...tried to go dress shopping yesterday but to no avail. I think I might end up coming a little bit late for the debut, as well...to tend to my poor, bleeding gums.

I've been taking a look back at the summer, and wow, have I come a long way. It's amazing how people can change so much over the course of two months, and I think I'm finally out of that awkward "who am I?" stage. I know that the next few years in University will only help me better understand my sense of identity. I've figured out who my real, dependable friends are. I know what qualities I'm looking for in my future friends. I want to learn from all of the mistakes that I made in highschool. I can't wait to be exposed to new ideas that will challenge my own. I'm looking forward to broadening my horizons.

I was on facebook the other day, and it struck me, that in a few months, I'll know these people. Well, I won't know all of them of course, but for a select few, I'll know their favourite colours, favourite foods, hobbies, and pasts. Right now they're just pictures on a website, but eventually they'll become my friends. And I'll probably grow up faster in the next two months than I did the previous.

Already, I've learned to navigate downtown by myself. I've learned to take the TTC at nighttime without being afraid. I no longer have to close my eyes and run to my bed when I turn off the lights. I don't get frightened by not knowing what's there. I've learned to form my own opinions about certain subjects, I've learned to tame my jealousy, I've learned to be the independent woman that I was supressing for all these years. I've learned to say "no" and to stand up for myself. I've learned to be honest with myself and with everyone around me. I've learned the difference between discretion and restriction. I've learned to be confident.

All in all, I'm a new person. Everyone has noticed it. And I like this new Leanna much better.